This would certainly be both big and inevitable

Pop-followers who have their ear to the ground may have heard rumblings of a big announcement at 6pm tonight. With just under two hours to go the cat is already clawing out of the bag: Robbie Williams is rejoining Take That.

Of course the single/album/tour will be absolutely massive, no question of that, but do Take That need Robbie back? Moopy doesn't think so, in fact the initial reaction is distinctly dismissive - do we really care anymore?

Perhaps we're not the right ones to ask; most of us are not 35-year old women who attend concerts and write "I LUV U GARY BARLOW" on our chests. We do not recall the darkest days of our youth as those spent weeping down the telephone to The Samaritans after the group originally broke-up.

If you want to join in discussion as the news "officially" breaks, hop over to: Robbie Williams rejoining Take That and let the world know what you think.

I have visions of you still protesting about it all in this thread in three years time

Around 10.40am yesterday morning, the first whispers of a RATM victory in the epic race for Christmas #1 were posted. By 15.23, we had leaked sales figures (although perhaps this was a slight buzzkill). Yet the weekly chart thread still had one its best weeks of the year, with a flurry of activity as the result was officially announced and singles/albums sales figures came in.

But what of the result? Regardless of whether it has any MAJOR impact upon the X Factor next year, just putting a bit more effort into the final product of the X Factor would be welcome really. If The Climb was a good song, we'd have no problem with it going to number one, but a quick rehash of a song that has already charted not so long ago ain't acceptable.

This unprecedented victory raises debate over whether the advent of downloads has led to record companies losing control of their own products, giving us a fantastic opportunity of picking and choosing tracks on albums we can buy if we didn't want to purchase the whole thing. This definitely seems to be a youth-orientated approach to music consumption, perhaps as a result of the two genres that appeal most to younger people (pop and r&b) being notorious for producing albums with a few killer singles and a whole load of filler. Yet there are suggestions that record companies will start to become more selective over what is available on iTunes and other digital outlets. A move which may preserve the album as a complete entity created by an artist to be heard as a whole where the free rein granted by iTunes allows them to be carved up, losing context, intent and positioning.

Of course, noted useless waste of skin Fearne Cotton was on-hand to quickly appease those gagging for her input on the situation (campaign to strap Fearne Cotton to a rocket and fire her into the Sun starts here), branding it "more a case of genuine rock fans versus genuine teenybopper fans." Which assumes only rock fans bought RATM (Not true) and completely ignores the fact that not all pop fans hate rock music and vice versa.

Let's not forget Joe McElderry. He's certainly no Leona or Alexandra, so they SHOULD move quickly and get something out before the summer at least. But they'll have to do a hell of a lot of spin if they rush something out given that even Leon Jackson got an autumn release (mostly to avoid a PR disaster following Leona the year before). Maybe taking into account that this week's chart race was a unique set of circumstances, it would be premature to write Joe off on that basis. The exposure of the new X Factor series and the potential, if he produces a hit, of significantly higher sales than a release in the Spring may be worth the risk.

Check out:
Xmas No.1 Race: Joe McElderry vs Rage Against The Machine
UK Charts (20/12/09) - CHRISTMAS CHART
Predict RATM's position on NEXT WEEK'S chart...
Did you actually buy the RATM or Joe McElderry single?

Joe McElderry vs Rage Against The Machine

Rage Against The Machine vs. X Factor has caused quite a stir so far this week, and Moopy is no different. At the moment, poll results put support for RATM ahead 63.41% to Joe McElderry's 36.59%.

Even those rooting for an X Factor win acknowledged The Climb as tepid at best (well, most people did...) - it's pretty much musical wafers, making tap water look like the flavour option. It's also true that if ANY established artist released that, or any breakthrough artist, we'd RIP THE SHIT out of it like a pack of RABID DOGS.

Yet this also raised the debate of the "real music brigade" - is it sheep mentality to support RATM (furthemore on that point, is the X Factor any less sheep mentality?) - identified as people who only like singers who write their own songs, bands who play live instruments, etc and deride anything that deviates from that. Yet these rules aren't exclusive, as was pointed out using the example of Ricky Wilson from The Kaiser Chiefs, who is neither a songwriter nor an instrumentalist. He's just a singer. However, because his songwriter and his musicians are actually in a band with him rather than working behind the scenes, his music will always be seen by a lot of people as more "real" than, say, Girls Aloud. Indeed, the opinion was put across that as long as real instruments are involved a song could be described as real music whereas a dance track that just uses samples and electronics without an obvious structure would just be SOUND. Perhaps such debate proves only that it's not just rock fans who are music snobs.

Still, despite the X Factor dominance over the past five years, it's reassuring how much people still value the Christmas #1 as something more than an unapologetic display of consumerism - either way, you always have to remember that the X Factor is a talent show and it is voted for by people who regularly watch ITV and enjoy it - i.e. morons.

With RATM at #1 in Tuesday's midweeks, this argument could roll on for some time.

Check out:
Xmas No.1 Race: Joe McElderry vs Rage Against The Machine
What is REAL MUSIC and what IS NOT?
Christmas Midweeks (15/12/09)
Rage Against The Machine for xmas #1

Unlucky Lloyd. englishlads.com awaits you

Daniel McCubbin in the final four? After THAT performance of Your Song? Shame on you Great British public.

WHERE THE FUCK DO I GET THOSE EARPHONES?

Lady Gaga, it seems, really has come to save us. Just a few weeks ago Moopy was revelling in the leak of Bad Romance and now we've been hit by the video:



A few thoughts:

1. THAT IS FUCKING FABULOUS
2. WHERE THE FUCK DO I GET THOSE EARPHONES?*
3. THAT IS REALLY FUCKING FABULOUS
4. NO, SERIOUSLY FUCKING FABULOUS

Ignore claims that this is cheap, overrated or the dancing reminscent of the Spice Girls. True, the set pieces aren't massively elaborate but it's shot in a very deliberate style which works tremendously (if nothing else Gaga herself looks stunning in some of the shots). 'Iconic' has already been used by more than one Moopist to describe this video.

Continuing discussion on The Fame Monster (released in a few weeks) is located here, but the Lady Gaga forum contains further discussion on the new tracks, including Bad Romance, Alejandro and Dance In The Dark as well as chart trackers for the project.

Check out:
Lady Gaga
Lady GaGa 'Bad Romance' \ 'The Fame: Monster'
"Bad Romance" video thread
"Bad Romance" iTunes Chart Tracker
"Bad Romance" Billboard chart tracker
Alejandro + Dance In The Dark Single Covers
The GAGA live performances thread

*The answer to that question is here

CLASSIC BRITISH TV

Where to start on tonight's X Factor result? Let's get the minor details out of the way first: Leona had a noticeably loud backing track, but Moopy doesn't think she was miming (a question ironically posed by a Britney fan, much to the chagrin of some); it's not Dermot's place to openly disagree with the judges comments - but he SHITS ALL OVER that BORING STAGNANT BITCH Thornton; Danyl Johnson is STILL in the competition and we've only reached 67 reasons for hating him.

But the real reason we're here is because Lucie Jones lost out to John & Edward in the most shocking result of the series. Oh, and to commend Louis Walsh giving a two fingered salute to the X Factor audience, presumably in response to their booing of his act. Moopy has, as always, been discussing why the nation has gone into meltdown over tonight's show (we've long since accepted that people really don't care much about actual important issues).

Simon Cowell's power-mad decision to once again take the show to "Deadlock" delighted some Moopists, whilst others were disillusioned with the route the show has now taken, with Cowell seemingly intent on having his acts face off in the final two. Undoubtedly, after critcising John & Edward for so many weeks, he would have been furious had one of his acts lost out to them. Others were unsurprised, having already branded this year a complete and utter car crash and the X Factor as an entertainment, rather than music show.

The other question raised is whether Dannii will return to the show next year following the result. It would seem that having been totally sidelined, Simon Cowell has taken every opportunity since to kick her in the metaphorical balls. Yet she seems to have public support and the show in this format is now picking up its highest ever ratings, surely reasons to maintain stability. The current poll results suggest this may just be an unfounded knee-jerk reaction. In any case, we'd rather see her replaced with a mound of excrement before they brought Sharon back (as has been suggested tonight).

Yet amongst frenzied Facebook/forum/tabloid claims of boycotting next week, chances are that the viewing figures will be boosted further than before. Which is why Cowell's decision makes sense and probably explains his motivation behind the conspiracy theories.

Do join us to share your thoughts on what is sure to be a massive talking point over the week.

Check out:
X Factor
Results Show - Week 5
Live Show - Week 5
Did Leona Mime??
Is Dannii GONE NEXT YEAR?
What's with the Dermot HATE?
What do you think about John and Edward?
101 Reasons why you HATE Danyl
is this year a sick joke?

IN YOUR FACE KATE WINSLET

Having previously dazzled Moopy with her acting skills in 'Glitter' and the success that the era brought for her, we've tentatively been keeping tabs on Mariah Carey's latest cinematic venture: 'Precious'.

For almost a year now, the hype around the film has been growing. Having picked up positive feedback from the Sundance Fim Festival in January ("...her fans will be happy to learn she clearly does not embarrass herself..." is, evidently what passes for a RAVE review these days), the film has recently received a limited theatrical release in America.

'Precious' took $1.8 million from 18 screens for an average of $100,000 per screen. In comparison, 'Glitter' made $786,436 on 1,202 screens for an average of $654 (or roughly 100 people per screen).

The film doesn't get a general release until 2010 over here - not that UK delays are a surprise where Mariah is concerned these days. Nevertheless, she is currently embarking on a promotional tour across the main US chat shows which we're following closely.

As the film's buzz and now commercial success continues to grow, check out the 'Precious' thread in the Moopy Odeon forum for the latest news, Moopy reviews and probably a few weight jibes.

Also:
Precious
Mariah's 'Precious' Promotional Tour

EVERY ALBUM HAS ONE...well, except Leona who seems to have about NINE...

With discussion on Alexandra Burke's debut album still raging on, it's time for Moopy's favourite assault victim, Leona Lewis, to release her second album, 'Echo'.

The 'True Blood'-esque cover was received positively and the initial reaction to the album content follows suit. Although quite a few leaked tracks didn't make the final cut (presumably saved for an October 2010 deluxe edition), it's safe to say that the final product has been received better than both 'Spirit' and Alexandra's 'Overcome' album.

Despite being labelled as "samey" as 'Spirit', this is not an album full of drippy piano ballads. Rather, it's full of epic screamathon ballads with an interjection of upbeats which range from interesting ("Naked") to dreadful ("Outta My Head"). But these tracks mostly serve to make the big ballads stand out more, which will probably be the make or break for most people. Such material is a winner for many posters chez Moopy. On the other hand, whilst Ryan Tedder's involvement is limited to just a handful of tracks, you may be getting a BIT FED UP with the Halo/Bleeding Love esque SCREAMATHON BALLADS now, since EVERY ALBUM HAS ONE...well, except Leona who seems to have about NINE...

'Stop Crying Your Heart Out' (yes it is a cover of the Oasis track) will invariably be compared to 'Run' which numbs its impact for some Moopists, but it's still going down well, as is the final track 'Stone Hearts'.

Initial album rankings have started, but most predict this to be a grower. With an X Factor performance this weekend, we'll be watching the performance of the mixed-reaction lead single 'Happy' next week, and casting eyes over the official release of 'Echo' seven days later.

Hop over to Moopy now to share your thoughts on the album project.

Check out:
Leona Lewis - "Echo"
Leona Lewis ∙ 'Happy'
Queen Leona SLAPPED
Alexandra Burke - Overcome (Album discussion)

The poll of the moment

It's time to take a quick look at the the initial results of today's Moopy poll. There is evidence that the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act is currently working and, incidentally, no-one really likes Angel Delight Chocolate. Unsurprisingly, it only took five posts before someone tried to sully the poll with a "witty" response.

nb. Croatia didn't rank that well on the Favourite 5 Eurovision nations of the decade poll either.

101 Reasons why you HATE Danyl

Last night's X Factor made a very deliberate point of mentioning the bad press that Danyl Johnson has received over the past few weeks. Regardless of how many standing O's he gets from Simon Cowell, or how well orchestrated his "feel sorry for myself" face is, Moopy just does not like him. Whilst there's just under an hour to go until we find out if the UK public once again feels the same way and dumps him back in the sing-off, let's check in with the 101 Reasons why you HATE Danyl thread (the current total stands at 52):

1. The spelling of his name. 'Danyl'. What a twat

2. Them fucking jeans he always wears to meet a mentor (rolled up and EUGH). If you meet Whitney you MAKE AN EFFORT

3. His tongue, its MASSIVE and annoyingly gets shoved in our faces everytime he opens his enormous mouth for the big note.

4. His 'sad puppy' eyes

5. His freakishly large mouth

6. The cunt deleted OUR Eileen from his facebook

7. For not laughing at Dannii's joke about him being bisexual. If it is funny in her head you LAUGH. Even if it is at her, not with her

8. That fact that he brought Dannii Queen of Clubz into disrepute

9. That VOICE, which sounds like he has a potato RAMMED down his throat. OH HOW I WISH!

10. The annoying dancing he did at Simon's judges home

11. The fact he's still there and Miss F.R.A.N.K. are gone

12. For singing SO out of tune at the start of the group song 'I Got A Feeling' - probably why they all have to mime now

13. He has cheeks like cartoon character, not a good cartoon character, a shit cartoon character... with BIG ANNOYING CHEEKS

14. For trying to muster up sympathy because his mother 'drives all the way from kent' to watch him perform. KENT

15. The fact that apparently DANYL (or DANIEL) isn't EVEN HIS REAL NAME. He changed it by deed poll and it's JON BLOGGS or something. WANKER

16. The fact that they keep referring to him as TEACHER, DANYL when in fact he only runs a SATURDAY MORNING DRAMA GROUP for kids

17. His SHITAWFUL intro montage thing, where he's posing 'sexily' all slouched to one side. COCK

18. Britains fifth best girlband (after Girls Aloud, Sugababes, The Saturdays and Girlband) Kandi Rain had to suffer the indignity of being kicked off the show before him

19. The fact he KILLED a modern, Whitney classic live on British TV before THE VOICE herself had the chance

20. Whitney hates him. That's all I need to know

21. He made me waste 15 seconds of my life this morning reading he tweets about how you shouldn't eat cornflakes in bed. WORSE THAN MICHELLE WILLIAMS

22. He called Stacie a TEEN SLAG or something just because he's jealous he doesn't have a vagina and THEN forced her to have a smiley paparazzi photo with him OR ELSE HE'LL SET HIS FROG GOB ON HER

23. He's challenging the Conway Sisters for the title of most punchable X Factor contestant

24. Trying to beatbox at Bootcamp

25. He opens his mouth so wide you can see his fillings

26. He opens his mouth so wide you can see his anus

27. The fact that he sings in a horrible affected way and doesn't sing the melody properly (probably because he CAN'T) and then starts shouting and no one ever says anything about it. And the fact this is set to be repeated every week until he is finally booted off

28. He is often OUT OF TUNE

29. He did the exact same performance twice as if we hadn't seen it

30. He leapt at the opportunity for some VICTIMISATION SYMPATHY after Danni's innocuous comment and never said anything to clear her name.

31. The fact that he gets a Standing O every week for 24

32. How Simon keeps masturbating over him when he's CLEARLY SHIT

33. He looks SHORT

34. He IS short

35. He has that weird sort of semi lisp thing that Su Elise from Mis-Teeq has

36. The face says "no-one is safe in this competition, not even ME" whilst the eyes scream "I'm a WINNER!"

37. Go away and listen to the MELODY

38. He wears cheap, arse-end of Topman sale, boat shoes with those rotten jeans of his. Nautical twat

39. The insistance that EVERY song ever recorded, whether Feeling Good or The Cheeky Song, needs to have an obligatory shouty long, drawn out "money" note right at the end to bring Simon Cowell to his feet

40. He called Stacey adopted

41. He thinks he is more liked than Hitler

42. Hitler knew how to WORK A CROWD

43. And get votes (well ISH)

44. Hitler was an ARTIST

45. Hilter probably wouldn't have voted for Danyl

46. He couldn't be arsed to come out fighting with his performance unlike Rachel and many others who have been in the sing-off over the years

47. His moronic fans. On X-tra factor some twonk called in and refered to Dannii & Cheryl's constructive critism (about losing his mojo) as "bullying". Get a grip luv!

48. He is a bullying victim

49. He's a cunt

50. He's too ashamed to come out as gay, so sticks with bi so he doesn't lose fans

51. His 'woe-is-me-so-vote-for-me' expression

52. The fact he forgot the words and no fucker bothered mentioning it, though when other people do it they lose their shit over it

Ok, so you might think Moopy is unnecessarily harsh (or that we really struggle to count into double digits without getting confused), but just look at that face and then try to resist clicking here and adding to the tally...